That's not so much a big deal really. Just another calendar day. However when it is paired up with reaching the 29 years dealing with type 1 diabetes then it seems to have more meaning to it. Is it the birthday or the diabetic years? More likely it is the combination of the two that is causing me to break.
Diabetes has been showing its toll it has taken on my body. I am having kidney issues. Well, that's been going on for a few years showing wear. But starting to get more alarmed. Then my eyes have had some problems. A few bleeds here and there. Not near the optic nerve, but it had remained steadily the same for several years. This last year each time I see the doctor he tells me they are looking worse. Really don't want to hear my eyes are getting worse. He tells me that for someone who has had this disease as long as I have he tells me they do look good all things considered. I'm a very visual person. I fear loosing my eye sight more than anything else. I will remind myself to be thankful for the blessings I have.
When I was ten years old I never thought I would make it to this age I am now. Nope never thought I had hopes of surviving this long. They painted awful pictures of complications. Kidneys dying, going blind and limb amputations. Plus let's not forget the pain of neuropathy. That bugger really is a pain. It loves to hit me at night either when I'm trying to sleep or it wakes me up. Not a thing I can do about it. At least the pain can be tolerable and it doesn't show up constantly.
I guess I am just in a funk. Things most certainly could be a lot worse than what they are. I can do more to maintain the health I have. Though I honestly laugh when I think of myself and health. I'm not healthy. But I have not completely lost it. So there is no reason to not keep plucking along.
Only God knows my years to my life. My responsibility is to add more life to my years. Trying to see the upside to my situation.
Think I will just leave it at that.
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