The spirit of unforgiveness

This can be quite toxic and poison your soul.  Also if you refuse to forgive, you can never be forgiven. Really do you want to risk that?

Years ago I was faced with this. I felt that I needed to keep score and just have it all out when I felt that someone had done me wrong. Let that person know just how much they were wrong.  There were really so many things, that each standing on their own merit really didn't have much ground. However I allowed them to take root in my heart and they grew. They were an evil weed that was multiplying with every hurt and grievance. 

Eventually I started to feel troubled at heart. That I needed to seek a better understanding. So I sought the bible for this. And I read that we are commanded to forgive. Not just forgive another one time, but to do so 70x7, which means over and over. They do something, you don't hold on to an IOU, or keep a ledger. You forgive them. You don't do this for their benefit, most of the time the benefit is for you. Unforgiveness opens up your heart for the weeds to grow, those weeds include resentment, hurt, and anger. Do not wait for them to come to you to ask, or even beg for you to forgive them of their trespasses. For they might never approach you, or even see that they did anything to be in the 'wronged' column. 

I do realize that there are events in our lives that can be so completely unforgettable, and that the thought of forgiveness seems impossible. My life has been riddled with a few of these. I could wish for a magic time machine to go back and undo these things. But then I would not be the person  I am today. I would not have strength to allow my faith to show me truth.  These trials have been a blessing of sorts in my life. They allowed me to truly see the blessings poured upon my life. For this I am grateful. But I too need reminders. 

When I feel the sting of past hurts stabbing at my heart, I again become reminded to allow my faith to take over and forgive. Admittedly there are times when I do struggle, but with this practice I can honestly say that my heart has peace. And to have peace of heart is golden. A cherished treasure that is redeemable. Both here on earth as a sinner, but also will be so in heaven when we come before our Heavenly Father.